Like many of my colleagues who work in a range of health care roles, I have got used to and don’t usually mind, being asked for medical advice by family, friends or occasionally even relative strangers when off duty. We get used to the unexpected knocks on the front door or approaches at social events….

I have to stifle a snigger sometimes when I am trying to obtain a history from some patients. On occasion the things they come out with are comic genius; you couldn’t make them up if you wanted to. Here is a small selection of recent examples. Some of these serve as lessons of what not…